Marriage | Views by Jo

I came across an interesting article this week, titled ‘5 reasons we can’t handle marriage anymore’. It intrigued me, I am an avid believer in true love and marriage for life. But I am also a realist and I know that we all make decisions that with the power of hindsight we would never have made. I also know that people change. So I opened and read the article with interest. I expected it to rile my blood, for me to despise the writer but in fact it didn’t make me angry it just made me think. 

My interpretation of his thoughts is that we live in a world and an age where technology is prevalent and where very few of us do not dabble in it, and that our relationship with technology, and inadvertently thousands of others, is perhaps a contributing factor to why our relationship with that one special person sometimes fails. My conclusion would be that we need to put our technology down and focus on interpersonal, human to human interaction. We need to talk, to laugh, to touch, to argue, to have a relationship but we have to have it in person. That is the deciding factor. 

Marriage is a fairytale that many of us grow up dreaming off and for two of my best friends it is happening to them, as they have just got engaged (not to each other I hasten to add but to their other halves!). I have two weddings in the pipeline and to say I’m excited is an understatement. I can only imagine how they are both feeling. I envisage that there is huge excitement, anticipation, loads of nerves, quite a lot of stress but hopefully the overriding feeling that this is the best decision they have ever made and that they will be a better, stronger and more incredible person for getting married. 

The one thing I would want to say them (not that I am an expert but as a friend with no experience and little clue) would be that times have changed, the world we live in is different to that of our parents and grandparents and we need to account for this, we need to approach marriage with this in mind, acknowledging the negatives of technology and overcoming them. Marriage is not easier or harder than it was before. Marriage is a journey. It will have bends and curves, hills to go up and to come down, it will have beautiful views and times when there will be nothing but fog, but it is a journey when undertaken that can be incredibly rewarding. 

As the author of the article says, marriage is sacred and that it should be taken seriously. I cannot imagine anyone enters into marriage expecting it to end or seeing it as a joke. Sometimes somethings just don’t work out. To admit failure takes incredible strength. To walk away from something you did your best in takes courage. No one can do better than their best. I think what I am trying to say is that we must not judge people for their failings or gloat of ones successes, but we must give our best in anything we enter into and expect others to have given the same.